I'm still working my way through the book on Your Child's Strengths. I'm not sure what to make of it. Some of the things that she says sound right to me, and others sound like New Age nonsense. For example, she'll say that telling a kid that they have to do well in school now in order to be able to get into a good school later doesn't do much to motivate them. Well, yeah, I'll agree with that. Then she'll follow that up with the observation that kids really want to learn, and I think that I've not actually seen that, myself. In selective areas, sure. As a whole, though, no. Not to say there aren't omnivorous learners out there, but I don't think its the norm. Much as I'd like to believe that all you have to do is expose kids to the opportunity to learn, and they will, I don't think thats actually the case.
Have to admit, my attitude toward that is a little biased at the moment. I was reading a blog the other day that's written by a teen (or pretty close), listing things that she thought important for parents to know. One of them was 'Don't say that we just want you to do your best, and then give us grief when the result isn't as good as you want'. At first, I thought 'well, maybe', but the more I thought of it, the more I thought 'why shouldn't I give the kid grief for not doing as well as possible?' I think the YCS book would hold that its more important to figure out how the kid learns best, and encourage that style (how? in a structured school, how?); failing that, though, what are you supposed to do? Shrug? Say 'Oh, gosh, I wish you'd done better....would you like some ice cream?'
The idea sounds good... but I don't know how well it actually plays out in reality.
5 comments:
I thought of your comment as I read this story in the Times.
Some college student said "If the news is that important, it will find me." Which is the same sentiment as the writer saying "Don't get mad because I fail to live up to expectations!" It's an intellectual laziness - and one I recall being "the norm" at that age.
The peer pressure to be "average" can be quite overwhelming; the adult's self-motivation is just getting formed and the need to be part of some group or other can be overwhelming to many a teen or college student. Standing out from the crowd can be difficult for a teen; my parents had a devil of a job telling me that!
For me, fear of disappointing Mom and Dad outweighed the fear of the always present bullies. Math was where I could go for a bit of peace and quiet. And then I got suspended (not wearing school uniform, with 6 weeks of school to go!) - and my now "infamous" temper and stubborness got their first airing. :-)
(I hope you know I am not implying or saying anything about your daughter! :-) )
I found the resonance between the two sentiments to be typical for those who don't want to make an effort to improve. Finally, youth is not wasted on the young - the young simply have an appalling tendency to waste their youth! (Didn't Socrates make the same observation? :-) )
Carolyn Ann
Socrates did indeed say that...hmm..didn't he wear a dress, too? (g)
I just read that article. I don't think I can agree that saying that the news finding me is the same as saying not to get mad. I think it COULD be the same, but in this case, I got the feeling that they were saying 'its not necessary to hunt; information will propagate to me'. Kind of a push model of information sharing.
Of course, you know that somewhere there is an advertising person trying to figure out how to use this model to do product placement....
I seem to be in the middle of their model -- I don't watch tv or local papers to get political information, and I consider the media I DO use -- primarily, WashPost and The NYTimes -- to be secondary sources of information. The primary one, for me, is POPURL and Google News. I don't Myspace at all -- well, okay, I have a profile (or is it Facebook? I forget) but I almost never use it.
Interesting article, interesting topic.
The biggest problem I have with the book is the long, but necessary process of doing the exercises to find out what your child's strenghts are. I wish it was an actual workbook -- still, the way it's laid out, is just overwhelming for parent and child.
I took a long time to get into reading it, so I only got to about chapter two or so. I think its worth reading, but I do have some reservations. Still, anything that can give me insight would be a good thing. I clearly have problems with the way the school works now... and in less than a year, she starts high school. High school!
Post a Comment