Lazy Day

Not lazy as in lie on the hammock swaying softly in the gentle breeze, listening to the creaking of the supports, occasionally sipping a bit of wine or just listening to the drone of the cicadas, but lazy as in I know I have things to do, I just don't want to do them. Not a deep down serious verging on sloth laziness....but not all that far away, either.

Its a cold, somewhat clammy day here, and I don't have a lot of motivation. Most of what I did have, I used up either going through emails and handling them (well, okay, about half of them) or looking at a performance problem, trying to understand what the heck was going on. I never did figure it out -- the job just ended by itself -- and that always irritates me. Its not that I have any good reason to expect that I'll see something magical -- I'm not that good at it -- its just that I do expect it, anyway. So when I don't, and therefore can't solve the problem, I feel like a chump. How smart can I be if I can't even figure out a simple problem like.... and so forth. So put together, I used up pretty much all of the motivation I woke up with. I did make chocolate chip pancakes that turned out okay, which is about all my achievements thus far.

I thought I'd do some baking, but the motivation slump is even affecting that. I told my wife that I might make some cookies, and she told me that one of the guys she works with likes the cookies I make, which made me feel odd. They're nothing special, and although they are okay, I would not go out of my way for them. So I thought maybe I would bake some bread, or maybe some pizza dough -- this description, from 101 Cookbooks, fascinates me -- but I couldn't work up the umph to do that. I even turned the oven on to pre-heat, but thats as far as I got. Really should go turn it off.

Lazy day.