Listening

There's probably a phrase that describes the process of losing what it was that you wanted to say because it took so long for the PC to start up, Firefox to start up, and Blogger to start up.... but it's probably an obscene phrase. So I won't use it. Actually, the preceding was written in Notepad, which will start up marginally faster than FF, etc will -- though I can still be bagged by the idea that if you start five applications at once they don't all start, bing, bing, bing -- they start just enough to get your attention, and just as you're about to go use one, the other one pops up. Travails of the modern age.

But that wasn't what I wanted to write about. It's mothers in law.

For the longest time, I really didn't get the concept of mothers in law and why guys don't like them. I knew the classic image -- the old battle axe, all of that -- and I didn't understand it. I didn't particularly like mine, but it wasn't because she was an unlikeable person, but because it takes me a very long time to warm up to anyone. (I've gotten better at that. Somewhat. ) But as for the classic dislike, I didn't get that. I'm beginning to, a little, but for what may be an odd reason. I don't think that my MIL respects my wife enough.

I noticed, a few years ago, that if my wife wanted to talk to her mother about something -- anything, the weather, traffic, work -- my MIL would listen for about fifteen seconds and then jump into her take on whatever it was. Weather? Oh, the weather where I live is really bad, I had to go back home to get an umbrella and I almost locked my car keys inside the car when I did it. Traffic? Oh, the main street where I live is really crowded, which is very odd because there are a lot of small stores that are going out of business, I don't understand why they can't just.... Pretty much anything. I know, everyone listens with one ear, thinking about how whats being discussed relates to their own life, but this is my wife. She fascinates me. (Okay, no, I don't go around in a daze when she is there, and I can get mad at her, but still: this is a fascinating, captivating person. I do seriously mean that.) So for someone to not just listen to what she's discussing, but instead wrench whatever into her own path: that irritates me.

Just a few moments ago, she did it again, wrenching a comment about the price of gas into a series of comments about how she really doesn't worry about it, but her car gets great mileage, and ....yeah, yeah, whatever. I know, its not a big deal, and the older you get, the more you think about life as it relates to you, not as it relates to anyone else. And probably (based on my own tendencies), you value what you think a lot more than you value what others think, because their standards and conclusions aren't the same as yours, and therefore are, at best, somewhat suspect. Plus, no matter if they're now adult, your child is always just a kid, a little, in your eyes. But I happen to like my wife a lot, and I could talk to her, and listen to her, forever. It astonishes me when her mother doesn't. Not that she doesn't like her, and value her. I'm sure she does. But she doesn't listen to her. Amazing.

Okay, I'm done now. What did you say?