The Man

Jed: Which one of you is the man?
Toby: On this one, we'd like to think of ourselves collectively as da men, sir.

I was standing in the kitchen, unloading the dishwasher, when my wife abruptly walked over and started patting me on the back. "Congratulations", she said. "You da man." (We never say that.)
I just looked at her.
"We just bought a new washer and dryer", she said.
I nodded.
"It arrives on Wednesday."
I nodded again.
"You insisted that we should just go ahead and get it -- the washer was dying, you said. Let's not wait."
"Yes?"
"This evening, I was doing laundry."
"And?"

A pause.

"Our washer's spin cycle died."