I don't often lie. I can't say that I never do, but I don't do it often. Mostly, thats because I don't have to -- I'm rarely in a position where I have to dodge and weave. A short-story that I love (so much that I still have the tattered paperback in which I found it, twenty years ago) has a line in it where a very serious person says that when he lies, it's because things are not the way that he wants them to be. When I lied a little while ago, it wasn't for that reason. It was because I don't like confrontations, mostly, and somewhat because I didn't like the person I was talking with at the time.
The person in question was calling to drum up money for the alumni fund for my high school. Thats the organization that I was graduated from something on the order of forty years ago. Its in a completely different state. I've seen it once in those forty years. You might say that I don't have much of an emotional attachment with it. Consequently, I didn't feel much desire to give these guys money. If pushed, I might give a little.... But the guys style -- oily, professional money drummer -- got on my nerves.
About twenty years ago, I got a phone call from someone trying to sell me some kind of home repair service. He asked if I lived in an apartment or a house. I replied, truthfully, that I lived with my parents. He hung up. I just didn't mention that I owned the house, so that, actually, they were living with me. Thats kind of what I did this evening.
I told him, truthfully, that I was laid off from my job about a month ago, and that I would not be contributing to his fund this year. I did not mention that yesterday we talked with a financial advisor about altering the mix of our investments, and that in passing the guy said that we were, financially, doing better than easily two thirds of the people he meets in our age bracket. And I didn't tell him that for all practical purposes, I wasn't going to try to find another job. I just let him draw his own conclusion.
So I didn't actually lie....did I? Yes, that's a rhetorical question.
Liar, liar....
3 comments:
This post actually got me thinking as to how often and to whome I lie. I embellish or subtract from the truth to my children on occasion. Depending on a need to know basis. I never lie to my dh .. but that doesn't mean I don't with hold some information. None that is detrimental to our existance (like usually extended family goings on and such). But I do lie to solicitors. I hate those phonecalls, and usually tell the carpet cleaning people that we have hardwood throughout our home, or tell the different charities that we live paycheque to paycheque .. which is quite honest really .. who wouldn't in a one income household. I guess when I hear the word "liar" .. I think of the more negative side to lying. Bad reprocusions of sorts. The little white lies aren't so bad.
I agree with Rach pretty much word for word. I never lie to my husband but I occasionally fib to my kids depending on the situation as needed for my sanity. As for people who harass me at my home for money I have no moral qualms about lying if it means getting them out of my hair.
Apparently, my response went out into the aether. So, I'll say it again, more briefly:
I don't lie to my wife, ever. I just don't. I'm not smart enough to remember my lies.
I did lie as needed to my daughter when she was younger, and just wanted immediate gratification, not a plan (Can we go to Disneyland/the moon/the zoo? Sure.). Now, I don't. The older you get, the more truth you get.
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