There are lies that parents tell children. Most are to ease things along. Some are because the parents believe them to be true. Some of them actually are. Others, maybe not. One of the latter is that if you have a problem with something that an authority figure has done, you should make your case to the person, who will listen to you and possibly rethink their decision. I suppose its possible, but my experience is, not too often. Got one of those this evening.
In a nutshell, at a color guard practice today, my daughter got screwed by the color guard supervisor. Partially, it was because she'd been told that she would have a part that she wanted, and then, when the supervisor arbitrarily decided that she wanted to have an audition, my daughter choked on one part. She can do it -- not great, not bad -- but she choked. To add insult to injury, the supervisor picked a person who hadn't been there for the whole practice, and who left early, to do the coveted routine. Finally, my daughter elected to spend some down time working with a different group, who was practicing some very basic things, instead of simply standing around, as her group was doing; as a result, she was designated to perform with the basic group, because she could do it. The ones who chose to simply stand around weren't penalized.
I told her that she should bring it up to the supervisor, and she implored me not to say anything at all, to anyone. She knows I would. She said she doubted the supervisor would even listen -- this person is known for a my-way-or-the-highway attitude; she doubted the supervisor would care what she thinks. As it is, she's thinking about giving it up entirely - as she put it, if she feels like crying in the middle of a routine, and comes home crying, it doesn't sound like something she wants to continue to do -- even though she's done it for years, and likes it. Liked it. Shes even willing to give up large amounts of karate practice time, which she loves, in order to do it.
Yeah, supervisors will listen. You just keep believing that, kiddo.
I know, teenage girl, things blow over, all of that. I told her to give it a day or so, think about it. Still. This is my daughter, you creep.
2 comments:
That stinks. I doubt the man will change his mind - he's backed himself into a corner, and will probably resort to bluster to avoid apologizing, or changing his decision.
People like that are one reason I have trouble dealing with authority. (The other is that idiots like him bring out the worst in me...)
I feel bad for your daughter.
Carolyn Ann
Actually, its a woman -- a color guard groupie who did it in high school, and effectively never left.
I agree about the character analysis. I have the same authority problem. It's a combination of simmering fury that this is my daughter and a general irritation with petty despots.
I am surprised how much this bothers me, and how badly I feel for her. Color guard is a very, very time consuming activity -- on the order of two to three hours every week, sometimes six or seven. I would have been pleased if she'd decided to quit of her own volition, and was therefore able to give the time to studies. To be treated like this for choking once, and being effectively penalized for acting responsibly while others are goofing off -- well, for the first time, I understand the attrraction of the more powerful 'active voice' they dissed me as distinct from the passive They were disrespectful of me.
Being a teen, this could blow over today, or tomorrow. But the attitude still stinks.
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