Friday morning, and the living is humid . When we woke up this morning, most of the windows were covered in condensation. Part of that, I think is due to the fact that I like to sleep in a cold house. When we go to bed at night, I tend to set the temperature fairly low. I won't say how low but on occasion we wake up shivering. This might be why I liked the temperature in South Dakota. But this morning, it really was a humidity thing. Last night ,the temperature and general sense of wetness was oppressive -- kind of like the classic wet blanket.
I was in a fairly melancholy mood this morning. I'm not sure why. After all, I've been thinking about the surgery for about a week.Something about it this morning though, just scared me.I was in an actively wimpy mood. I blush to say how I manifested this; let's just say that it took some serious hugging before I felt better. Of course, like the classic American male, I then thought, what about people who have more serious injuries and illnesses? Don't you think they have much more right to feel wimpy and dejected and melancholy? And I had to admit that of course they do. Yet they dpn't. There is a woman, who writes a blog called Haiku of the Id-- I just added it to the blog roll the other day. She certainly qualifies.She's an oncology nurse, and in a supremely ironic condition, she has cancer. How do you live with that?I don't mean that in the physiological sense, but in this sense of just getting on with your life. People with cancer get hang nails. People with cancer have car problems. People with cancer run out of cereal. So if they have to deal with the routine crap of life every day, why should I feel in my life is any different? Why should I get to mope around when they don't?
A little Friday morning philosophy.
4 comments:
Surgery is worrisome and there is no 2 ways about it, But if you ask your anesthesiologist to just put you out before the operating room he or she will. I did this and when I woke up after 2 1/2 hours of them working up my nose it was over. Just the healing process was to remain. It was made out to be worst than it really was after it was all said and done.
I'm not by any means trying to minimize what's ahead of you but this helped me.
That and I got as many hugs as I could get too, And His shoulder was a little wet from time to time when I was scared.
A very interesting idea - I will keep it in mind. The last time that I had surgery, while I was on the table waiting for them to start, one of the nurses leaned over and very quietly said "Now I have an important question to ask you.Are you taking anything like Viagra, which you didn't tell us about?" Apparently it's a common question to ask guys who may not have wanted to mention it out loud before. If that's still the case, I doubt they're going to give me that option, but I'll certainly keep in mind.
I admit to being more than a little scared. As things go, this is probably not considered major surgery, but it's certainly a major enough for me. I know it's been done a lot. I don't know how often it's been done here but I know it's been done a lot.(My mantra here is that the guy who is doing the cutting was a level 1 trauma surgeon for two years, so he knows what he's doing.) I'm more concerned about how well it's going to work. I'm thinking if I can get 90% of functionality back, and it stays that way for a long time, that will be a good thing. Anything more would be lagniappe.
As for the wetness thing, I know exactly what you mean. I've had a bit of that myself.
It's fair to be scared. Mostly because surgery is scary. Don't apologize for how you feel- you have as much right to be scared as anybody else.
And thanks for the link!
My pleasure,G. From what I can see in your blog, you're clearly a class act.
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