Saturday, June 24, 2006

At the Party

My neighbor is holding a wedding event for his daughter. He's rented a pretty large tent, got a classical music group to play now, a DJ and huge speakers for later, including a small dance floor. Many pizzas for the kids. About a hundred people. He has a fair amount of property (I'd guess about a half acre), of which much is the pool and a small amount is a wooded area. At the moment, it's crowded with people.

Just prior to going over, my daughter burst into our bedroom with the news that another neighbor was already over there, and shouldn't we get going? I commented mildly that she was wearing more eyeshadow -- significantly more -- than she normally wears. I didn't know that my wife had just made the same comment. My daughter said abruptly that she didn't want to go. After about ten minutes, I convinced her to go, and she did, but she was grumpy pretty much the whole time. She cheered up when she saw some people she knew, and when she saw the bride and groom, but then was grumpy again. She came back home, and, a few minutes later, I did, too. It's warm and somewhat humid out there.

About fifteen minutes later, her mother came back, mildly irate that she was not there. She insisted that she had to go, and my daughter fled in tears to her room. After a while, she calmed down, and we talked. The thing is, neither she nor I like crowds, and we don't make friends easily. Crowds don't bother her mother, and her mother can make friends with a wooden Indian. So after a bit, she agreed to go back for five minutes -- and almost exactly five minutes later, she said she wanted to come home, and she did.

I wish I could help her with this form of shyness. I wish I knew how hard to urge her down a path I myself can't comfortably travel. And I wish I could help her mother understand why she is like that.

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