Notes

It's probably silly to note this in a medium which exists just for my own blathering, but I will, anyway: this particular post may seem excessively self-indulgent. I am feeling a little bit stressed, and -- since the ice cream cone that I ate not only did not ameliorate that but actually added to it -- I'm writing. Writing usually makes me feel better. I think it's because you can control what comes out when you write, and control is what I'm looking for, right now.

The ice cream cone. We tend to get some from the supermarket. They're not particularly good. We get the best that I can find there, but I'm never really happy with them. For one, the ice cream itself isn't particularly tasty; for another, it is encased in a hard chocolate shell that you have to crack, scattering crumbs everywhere. Seems silly and wasteful to me. For a while, I looked for ice cream sandwiches, but they're not much better. They don't have that shell, but the whatever-it-is that makes up the sandwich tends to be very, very soft, rubbing off easily on your fingers, and from there to whatever you touch. I know, problems of the idle rich.

Last night, we were going to make a pork tenderloin for dinner. I'm not a big fan of pork, but I've been trying to expand the range of what I eat. My wife asked me not to get it when I got the groceries on Thursday, as she wanted it to 'be fresh' (I suppose it's possible that something you buy on Sunday is fresher, but I tend to assume that just means that it spent three more days in their chiller). As it turned out, with her work schedule, we didn't get it, so the choice was to either go out or get a pizza delivered. We chose going to Outback restaurant. I used to like that place; this time, it seemed noisy and cheap. I found myself annoyed that I had a clear sightline to a person in the next booth as they masticated intently, for example. (Ever notice that some old people eat furiously, like they're afraid you're going to take it away? Don't get your hand anywhere near their mouths.) When our meal finally arrived, the server announced it by saying This is a hot plate!, which would have been okay if she'd clearly been talking about our meal, and not to one of the the immediate five tables. Then, as it turned out, my steak was inadequately cooked, so I got to wait and watch my wife and daughter eat - then they got to watch me eat. Afterwards, my wife and I both got to watch my daughter devour a gooey dessert. I used to like gooey desserts; now, something simple, well prepared, is much more preferable. And much less likely to be found.

Made the mistake of looking at my 401(k)s today. Holy hell. What's going on there?

Sometimes I think about getting something like an iPod. Note that I say 'something like'. I would like something that's more easily portable than this laptop, and I'd really like something with a much more intuitive interface for Blogger. Off-line editing, real-time spell check, that sort of thing. Does the iPood have it? Likely not, but that's the tech world's current point of lust, so that's my point of reference. This morning, I tried to address a question that my wife had about macros in Excel 2007 under Vista, and I just couldn't. Part of it was that her laptop works differently than mine -- for one, little things, like the touch-pad scroll moves way more slowly than I like; for another, she's got that damn 2007 ribbon, which I think sucks big-time. Bottom line was, I couldn't help her. I hate when that happens.

I find myself apprehensive about this kid that's coming. I want her to like her stay. Charming as of course we all are, that won't be enough. And, oh, most of the trips, at least in the area, will likely be me, her, and my daughter -- and sometimes just me and her. I don't expect us to establish a lifelong bond, but I hope we get along. Everyone's had the experience of visiting someone and feeling that they stayed too long. I don't want her to have that experience.

I need to feel smart right now. Feeling smart makes me feel in control. (I know: what?) Reading that book tomorrow will help. Oh, what am I reading right now? Um...Funny Times. And a Star Trek novel.