I think its been obvious that I don't have much use for the extra-teaching actions on the part of the school where my daughter attends. Although they say that they focus on the child, it turns out (based on comments by the high school principal) that what they actually focus on is the concept of transition, from being a kid to being a junior-league adult. I had thought for a while that their standards in grading and such were fairly loose, and he indirectly confirmed that, saying that while the middle school philosophy was that you got lots of chances, in high school you did not. You basically do it or blow it. This is much more like the school experience I had, and that I suspect most people had.
One of the other things he said was that he thought extracurricular activities were important - that some parents would look to curb them when the kid first started high school, since it was such a transition, but he thought that they should continue, both for continuity and because the fond hope of parents that the time given to that would be transferred to studying usually didn't happen.
Based on how my daughter had been doing, I had told her that she would not be participating in color guard, which she dearly loves, after this semester. I didn't like doing that, but I thought it would have an effect. And, indeed, in the last few weeks, she's improved.
Today, she bought home mid-terms. She got her first C.
No color guard for her, I'm thinking -- and lots of extra studying over the summer.
4 comments:
I used to try to convince my father that a C was average, meaning I really didn't do bad. He just said, "oh, so you're average? Uh-uh."
I missed cheering at several football and basketball games because of a few C's. It worked. I did better.
But I was SO made at him. Be prepared for that ;-)
I think that your father was a smart person. I don't know if I am that smart.
I just two minutes ago had an intense talk with my daughter, and what I told her was that if she failed, but I believed she had really tried, I would not be as mad as if I didn't think she'd tried, used all of her resources, and pushed herself. I told her that it drove me crazy when she did not tell me when she had problems that were stopping her, problems that worried her -- not that she HAD to, but if she didn't, and failed, I would feel that she hadn't really tried. I told her that it comes down to communication, and being scared -- her communication with me and mine with her, and being scared that she was screwing herself for future years. I told her that I needed to hear how she was doing, know when she was having problems, and that the first time she didn't give me a weekly update -- the FIRST time -- I would take the laptop for the remainder of the year.
It made an impression, but I don't know for how long.
Oh, your comments were way better than my Dad's. You actually talked to her...indicated that you were there to help her and wanted to know how she was doing. My Dad is a good man, but he's a man of few words. I'd have liked a few more words from him sometimes.
Her mother just got home, and noticed a couple of details about homework or essays not turned in that I had not noticed, which translate out to specific things she has to do for the remainder of the year, and which we will check. I am glad she noticed them. My daughter, not so much.
At some point, you have to let them fail. I do believe that. I just don't like doing it.
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