Dismissed

When I started with IBM, it became apparent pretty quickly that it was a very paternal organization, one that liked to oversee pretty much anything you did. While it didn't feel oppressive, as a rule, it was clear that there were standards and procedures and guidelines for just about anything you might care to mention. This was the place that for a while had what people at one location called The Phone Message Police, whose task it was to call your phone while you were away to see if your away-message met the standards for content and style. They wouldn't tell you, I gather, if it did, but they'd tell your manager (not you) if it didn't. Juvenile? You bet. The people running the place liked it that way. I have no doubt that they, themselves, had their own Ss and Ps and Gs inflicted upon them by the people that they worked for. But I think I didn't truly realize it until the first three day weekend arrived.

I knew that it was customary for people to bail out early on the last working day before such an event, but I didn't know if it was something that they did as they felt the need, or something that had to be ordained from above. I learned which it was when one of my coworkers, who worked for a different manager than I (IBM being fond of the matrixed organization) announced that she was leaving for the weekend, having been 'dismissed'. Frankly, the phrase took me by surprise. Dismissed? As in, what occurs in the lives of children and school? Yes, that was exactly what she meant. It was considered inappropriate, at the least, for people to leave before the end of the working day unless the group manager had dismissed you -- and one time out of four, that would be done late (Sorry guys, I was working on something, you can leave now) and/or with a snarky little codicil (make sure that you fill out time sheets/clear off your desk/set your status message to AWAY). I was startled.

For most of the time that I worked there, I usually stayed past the dismissal anyway. I had things to do; some of which were just for my own pleasure. I learned after a while (I'm slow this way) that it was a two edged sword to keep your status as Active in the Sametime instant messaging system. If you did, then your manager could see that By god, Bill's still working, what a trooper... but it also meant that your manager could see that By god, Bill's still working, lets give HIM this problem. The longer I was there, the more likely I'd sign out of the system as soon as I could, and, after a while, the more likely that I'd leave right at -- and sometimes before -- the designated dismissal time. If I stayed, I'd still sign out of the IM system... and I wouldn't answer the phone. I simply didn't want to take the chance of letting people know I was around. IBM was -- and still is -- very enamored of the Attaboy/Awshit management paradigm, and while it was difficult to get the former, it was depressingly easy to get the latter. One time, I was harassed because I'd told people that I would be in to do a system change while I was still on vacation... and they couldn't believe that, so they scheduled someone else to come in, who was then quite surprised and irritated to see me on the system. But you're on vacation! he expostulated. But I said I'd do it, and here I am! I replied. That conversation, and the ensuing ones with the group manager, did not go well for me.

Okay, you're dismissed.