Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Better If Read By....

I trace the fall of Western civilization to the first time that the phrase "Use Before This Date" was replaced by "Better If Used By".

No longer did things go bad; they just were, perhaps, just quite as tasty as they otherwise would have been had they been consumed earlier. While some of this might be attributable to the increased use of preservatives, some of which will likely keep food marginally edible long after life as we know it has vanished from the planet, I believe that most of it is someone -- in Marketing, most likely, with the connivance of someone from Legal -- thinking that this implies the product is eternally usable. But, some likely protested, if we take off the Use Before, then people won't look at it, toss the product, and go buy more! Profits will go down! Glumness all 'round the boardroom table. No, dammit, the CEO says, striking a bold stance, we'll do it -- Better If Used By will be the new corporate byword! Damn the vagueness! And so it was.

No longer did people apologise for doing something wrong; now they were sorry if you were offended. No longer did sports figures try to hide their transgressions; now they were wrestling with their personal demons. No longer were kids lazy or stupid; now they were not sufficiently motivated, less-than-optimally matched to the curriculum.

This post better if read by.....now.

6 comments:

STAG said...

When the ice storm hit, we cleaned out our freezers. We had picked up a pile of sponge cakes on sale a few months before, (I am a lover of strawberry shortcake!) and promptly tossed them into the freezer. All were past their "best before" dates by the time winter rolled around, but what of that, they were frozen! All were tossed in the trash rather than allow them to be given to the homeless.

Better safe than sorry I guess.

(well, thats MY "best before" story.)

Cerulean Bill said...

I don't know if they are still doing it, but for a while McDonalds had a policy of keeping french fries and other foods warm for a specific period; after that, they were pitched. They started giving them to homeless shelters -- and promptly got grief for 'feeding garbage to the homeless'.

genderist said...

I hate those apologies. There was a girl in college who was always "sorry you feel that way". Makes you want to hit her in the face.

Cerulean Bill said...

...at which point, you could have said "And I'm sorry you feel THIS way!"

Anonymous said...

I think this society needs to own up to their mistakes, take the heat for wrongs done, not find someone else to blame it on. When I do something wrong, I admit it. I apologize immediately if I hurt someone or their feelings. I used an extremely stern voice on a cashier the other day.. and apologized, in front of the customer she was waiting on, immediately. Claiming abuse as a child does not give someone the right to kill 5 people. I was abused as a child, yet no one is buried in my basement.. yet. It all comes down to responsibility.

Cerulean Bill said...

Yet?