My wife had an experience last night that was so troubling to her, she woke me up this morning to talk about it.
She'd been with the color guard crew, coming back from the championships. These are all girls, ranging between fourteen and eighteen years old. One of the girls asked her to give her a ride home once they got back to the high school. This is a not-uncommon event. It's a bit of a pain, of course, but her feeling is that she'd rather do it than take the chance that the kid will be stranded. I totally agree with her on this, and occasionally have gone over to the high school to pick up our daughter while my wife brings the other girl to her home. So, I had no problem with this (though I didn't know about it, at the time).
Once the girl was in the car, though, she said that she didn't actually want to go home; she wanted to go to a hotel. The girl said that she'd arranged to meet someone there. You can imagine what sort of alarm bells this set off. There would have been no way that my wife would do that, but neither would she abandon the girl to her own devices. It turned out that this wasn't exactly what it appeared to be - the girls mother, who'd actually gone to the competition, knew about it, and said that it was okay. The reason was, the girl had been kicked out of her house by her parents! My wife was stunned, as I would have been. We've never known of anyone in that situation; certainly, never known of any parents who could do that. We knew that it could happen, but here, where we live? The shock was as great as when we found out that a neighbor might well end up on a sex-offender list.
My wife called the mother, who agreed that this was in fact okay, and she then brought the girl to the hotel. Along the way, the girl asked her to stop by the side of the road. The girl had had to walk to the high school, carrying not only her color guard equipment, but her books and clothes for school - so much that she couldn't carry it all - so she'd hidden some of it in the underbrush, and needed to get it. (That she had to resort to that stratagem flabbergasts me.) They then continued to the hotel, where the girl checked in.
My wife was (and is) quite distressed, both at the idea of parents who could do that, and about the girl. She wondered if there was anything else she could have done, anyone else she should have involved. She'd actually considered offering to let the girl stay with us -- in fact, my daughter, who was there, made the offer spontaneously, but the girl turned it down. We decided that we'll tell one of the two priests at our church, today, about the event, and tomorrow we'll tell the guidance counselor at the high school, to see if they can do anything. We'll also call the hotel today to check up on her, and to let her know that our church is affiliated with a teen shelter. We'll bring her if she wants.
Getting involved, doing what you think is right, is sticky. You're thinking what if there was a good reason for kicking her out? What if she's a thief, a drug user? What if, what if.... I think my wife did the right thing, and what we're going to do is right. But still, you wonder.
You read about these situations. You don't ever expect to be in them.
2 comments:
I think you did the exact right thing with all that you did. And even if the girl was a thief or drug user she is a minor and cannot be abandoned to her own devices. This story is so sad and I hope this does not paint the beginning of a tragic life story here.
When I was a kid, my parents took in three of my cousins after their parents died. It was tough for them, since we didn't have much money, and didn't get any support from governmental or other agencies. They did it because it was the right thing to do.
I'm glad that my daughter saw her mother doing this.
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