Driving Conversations

I drove my daughter over to the high school this morning. I was a bit grumpy, as we need to have a talk with her about grades, and I'm not looking forward to that. Plus, this morning, she was a bit manic about getting over there, and that's wearying.

Once we were in the car, though, she seemed fine. I mentioned to her that I wondered how our neighbor had made out in his bail hearing -- so odd to use that phrase -- and she asked me why. Well, I said, there are crimes that are considered so egregious that there is very little impulse to cut them any slack, to let them out of jail while they are awaiting trial. Any crime involving a child is considered to be in that category, and if its a sex-related crime, the likelihood of getting slack is even less. Somehow we got from there to talking about divorce -- she doesn't know yet about her cousin -- and how there are families who get divorced without considering the effect on the kids. I'm sure there are divorces that really need to happen -- the environment is just toxic -- and I know that from the sanctity of my excellent marriage, its easy for me to point fingers -- but I really don't like the idea of divorce. In fact, I told her, I would do just about anything to avoid getting divorced. Sometimes, its necessary, but that bar is raised a lot higher, in my mind, when there are kids involved. Then, as we arrived at the school, she saw the football team practicing, and made a comment about it. I asked if the school really doted on the team and she nodded emphatically. They made a big deal of the team last year when they only won three games; this year they're undefeated, and they really make a big deal about it Do they make a big deal of any of the other teams? I asked, and she said no. I nodded. Like when I was in school, I said. They never cared too much about the academic teams -- but when the football team captain was in your class, the teachers made a point of congratulating him whenever the team won. She seemed surprised that I felt the same way she does.

Tomorrow, we talk about grades.