Mentor

One of the problems that I had last year being a mentor was that I didn't know what exactly I was supposed to do. They had a lot of feel-good phrases, but very little practical advice or guidance. While I was thinking about this new mento that I've got, I decided I needed a Plan that would guide what I would do. I mulled it over before I met him, and then, as part of the getting-to-know-you, I laid it on him.

I told him that I was there for three things:

First, to listen, to whatever he wanted to say. It could be simply how his day was going, it could be a complaint that he couldn't make to his parents, or teachers, it could be pleasure at some accomplishment, or fear about something that was happening. Whatever, I was there first off to just listen, and to talk with him about it if he wanted me to do that.

Second, I was there to be an advocate. I told him that I was there because of him; that he was, effectively, my boss, and my goal was to help him in whatever he needed. If he couldn't quite get a teacher to listen to him, I'd talk with the teacher on his behalf. If he didn't understand the point that a teacher was making, I'd talk to the teacher and find out, then work with him on it as much as I could. If he just wasn't connecting, I'd do what I could to make that happen.

And third, I was there to give structure and feedback on school itself. I told him that this didn't mean I was a snitch; I wouldn't call his parents and say your son is having problems. It meant that I was there to tell him things that I thought he needed to hear, and to help him learn to do things, or do them better, that he needed to be able to do. I'd help him keep track of projects; talk about how to prepare for tests and learn from them; help him be a student. I asked, for example, if he used his agenda book, and he shrugged, saying 'usually'. I told him I knew exactly what he meant -- they gave him the tool, they told him how to use it, and then they figured they were done. I'm going to work on that - touch on it every week. Not to nag, but to keep both of us abreast of how he's doing, what's coming up, all of that. I'm big on structure, on planning; I think it's important.

He seemed surprised by some of it -- particularly the part about me working for him -- but it seemed to help. He knows what to expect of me, what's going to happen when we meet -- what the parameters are, the boundaries, the expectations. And I know what I want to do. Maybe it'll work, maybe not, but I'll have structure, just as he will. I hope that it'll help him. I hope it'll help me.

We'll see.