Thursday, December 30, 2010

Alarming

Getting out of the van this evening, I set off the car alarm. I'd had that button taped over, but the tape had apparently eroded. To turn off the silly thing, you have to start the car, which of course would take any New York City kid about thirteen seconds if he was wearing gloves. Plus, the HONK HONK HONK is so common, we assume that it's someone who inadvertantly set it off. We don't even look up. About the extent of our involvement is to swear mildly if it goes on for more than a few seconds.

Man falls into a vat at the chocolate factory. Flailing about, he screams FIRE!!! People come running, and they drag him out. Why'd you yell Fire? they ask. He replies "If I'd yelled Chocolate, would you have come?"

What's needed is an alarm that's truly alarming. Something that gets your attention. Something like -- a scream. Recorded in your voice, blasted into the air. Shouting your name. (And transmitting it to the cops, just to keep it being used as a prank). Bellowing HELP!!!!!

All this as an installable dealer option.

I would turn and look. Wouldn't you?

2 comments:

STAG said...

Once I had a car whose horn did not work. I drove it for a year. Never needed it. Not quite sure why I would ever need it. I was in downtown Toronto last summer in my new car, and a kid on bicycle was turned in front of me. I hit the brakes and the horn at the same time. He simply did not hear me...he was wearing an ipod. The fact that I still did not hit him ipso facto means that I did not in fact NEED the horn...it merely annoyed the people in the houses beside me and served no purpose. Another story...my neighbour has an on star system installed in his car. He had it stolen. The on star people shut it off. The joy riders bailed and he got his car back. My other friend hit a deer in her new hybrid. The on star people knew right away and sent help. So...bottom line...dump the horn, get an on star.

Cerulean Bill said...

So how much of the use of a horn is simply to satisfy the There, I did something impulse?