FIOS? Forget It

Verizon's really pushing the idea of FIOS around here. We've gotten phone calls, emails, mailing, and a personal visit. We're reluctant, because Verizon strikes us as a company thats big on marketing, small on customer friendliness. Not that Comcast is all that much better.

Today, though, we came close to it. We pay about $45 a month for Verizon's telephone service, which is for two phone lines. We pay about $99 for Comcast's cable and internet service. Verizon, through their FIOSTRIPLE160 offer, said we could get all three for about $100 a month. Well, okay, right off the bat we knew that this would not last. It would be for ninety days or until the new year or for a limited time only. People with Offers always have weasel words in there. Always. And if we did it, we'd have to change email addresses, which are currently at the Comcast domain. Still: saving forty or so buckes per month? Okay, I'm willing to think about it. So I called.

I put the phone on speaker and walked around the kitchen, taking things out for dinner. I hoped that I would at least get to talk to someone by the time dinner was ready, and I did. After they went through multiple iterations to determine that why, yes, you ARE qualified for this service (gee, thanks for sending the emails, cards, notes, etc telling me I was, then making me wait), I asked them my questions.

We have Lifeline phone service on one line. That service requires a standard landline connection -- can't use VOIP. Is this going to be a standard landline connection? Long pause while the clerk's synapses fuse. He goes away, comes back. Ah, you'll have to ask the local business office, we have no control over that. Hmm.... But, okay.

We have two phone lines. Will this service cover both lines? No. Okay, that's expected. What will the second phone line cost us? Another pause. Ah, you'll have to ask the... Gotcha.

We'll apparently need a tv converter box to use your service. How much is that? Six dollars. One time? Per month. And more if you want HD service. Oh, joy.

We currently have five email boxes. How many would we get with this service? Three, but you can buy more.

Don't know about the Lifeline, or the cost of the second phone line. We'd have to pay for a converter, and for the mailboxes we have now. And a little Googling turns up things like this. Somehow, I don't think we'll be FIOSing any time soon.