At the get-together at my cousin's house, there were about five little kids, three under, oh, four years old. Really cute kids - as I said to my daughter, they remind me of you, back when you were cute. Turns out my daughter can hit really hard. Anyway, one of them, walking carefully with a bowl, had some slop over onto her. She put it down and ran to her mother. Mommy! My vagina is all wet! Ever see multiple adults abruptly stop talking, all at once? Me, I thought What a smart little girl! Good for her.
And on the drive back, my daughter informed us that while her group was in Manhattan, waiting for their tour bus to move (it had been in an accident), she noticed that there was a sex shop right across the street. My wife was dismayed. I said Bus driver, would you mind if we went across the street for a minute? We want to buy a toy as a souvenir..... Huh, this toy needs WD-40...and raspberry-flavored whipped cream. Do we have that? Oh, and about five, no, six batteries!
My wife was even more dismayed.