Incoherent Thoughts

And for any reader(s) who may have wondered why this post was so labeled, when the phrase is characteristic of so many of my posts.... no comment.

This past weekend, I went to Wildwood, New Jersey so that my daughter could see her cousin perform in a color guard event. I've mentioned elsewhere how I feel about Wildwood, New Jersey, so I won't expand upon that (okay, one note: I now understand Tony Soprano just a little bit better). It's a rip off place, like much of Coney Island and Pier 19 and all of that. But with the charm of, say, decaying bits of Route 66 and Alcatraz, mixed in. While there were good points in the trip, overall, the phrase that comes to mind to describe it is Major League Rip-Off.

Normally, I think that a color guard event is a minor league rip-off, because they charge you to get in, so that you can buy things from them and oh, by the way, watch your child's group perform. You can't videotape, oh, no, because they have professionally made ones for sale. But it's just a minor-league rip-off. For major-league rip-off style, you need to go to events held in major league locations, such as the Wildwood Convention Center and Visitor Fleecing Operation Location, in Wildwood, New Jersey. This is truly major league. For starters: they charge you to get in. It's a three day event. If the local folks charge about five dollars to get into a one-day event, what might a MLRO function do? How about $25? Per person, per day? Though they do give a wunnerful, wunnerful $80 'universal' pass -- not sure what that's for, but presumably it's a better deal than per person per day. And once you're inside? Well, not only do they have much less stuff to get to indicate support (though, if you'd like to buy your team a whole new set of outfits, or an Air Blade, they have them for sale), but they still don't allow videotaping, and if you do -- and we're talking about taping one or two lousy events? From a shaky hand-held camera? One of their efficient staff will come over and briskly inform you that that's a contravention of the rules!!! It wasn't me, but my cousin's wife who was so chastised, which is likely good, as I just don't handle that kind of thing well, I truly don't. Bite me is the calmest response that comes to mind, ratcheting up to more fiery and vociferous observations.

Overall, put it this way - if you have a chance to go to one of these things, there or elsewhere? I'm talking big league, not local groups? Don't. Really, don't. One day, four or five hour local ones? You bet. They're fun, the people are real, and its just folks supporting their kids activities. They could stand to be improved, too, but overall, not bad. But three day all-you-can-stomach events like this? Nah. Have a colonoscopy instead. At least, for that, they give you relaxing drugs.

In my calmer moments, though, I do wonder: since they must know that nobody likes this level of extortion, why do they do it? Isn't there a way to sell this in a more customer-pleasing fashion? Can't they charge a more reasonable fee, have more and better things to buy, and just blow off the video-taping thing because it's obvious that the ones they sell are just so ever much better, with better shots, colors, commentary, and all that? God help me, can't a marketing person get involved?

As Tony would way: whuffor? We gottem by the nuts. We like it just the way it is.