Nice Job!

I recently read an article whose message was that telling kids 'nice job' or 'you're smart' when they succeed at something is counterproductive. The idea is that the child picks up the feeling that they achieved the goal not because they tried, or worked hard, but "because they are smart"; therefore, they gain the impression that they have a certain amount of ability, that this amount of ability is greater (perhaps) than other that of other children, but that this is an all-or-nothing deal -- they can't learn to do things that they can't do now, simply by applying effort to it. The brains they've got are the brains they've got. If they can't do something, they'll never be able to do it, because their 'level of smartness' isn't extensible. They can't 'get smarter'. You've got brown hair! You've got ten toes! You're smart! None of those can be changed. Where they are is where they are. Therefore, the article says, if you praise a child, it should be done in a task-directed manner. Don't say 'good job!'; say 'you stacked those blocks really well'. Don't say 'you're fast'; say 'I like the way you conserved your strength until the last lap and then poured it on while the others were tiring'.

I think that both styles are needed. I believe that praise focuses attention. People like being praised, and they will work to achieve more of it. (Okay, its got to be meaningful praise -- you wouldn't say "you're smart" in quite the same way to someone who's just won the Nobel Prize in Biochemistry-- and its got to come from someone whose praise you value.) But generalized raise by itself is not enough -- the general humour with which people view the attitudes of Californians toward 'feeling good about yourself' reflects the general belief that feeling good is not enough; you've got to do. The feeling is a good bedrock, but it is not achievement. You've got to think you can achieve, but you've also got to think that you can do the specific thing thats keeping you from the higher level of achievement. It's that latter need which is addressed by task-oriented praise.

When I was in high school, I was poor in anything related to math. (This, of course, makes me unique.) I was of the impression, though I never put it into words, that if I could not reach a certain level of achievement; then I could not reach it, any more than I could levitate up three feet by trying really, really hard. Although the primary cause of my poor performance was me, it was also that attitude. If you had asked me if I was trying hard, I would have said yes, I was -- and I was -- with the same effect as that levitation attempt. The effort I was putting into it was not productive, because I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know how to focus; I didn't know what to focus on. People told me all the time that I was smart, but that didn't help when it came to specifics. I needed to be shown, and, when I occasionally did succeed, I needed specific 'good job' praise for trying and achieving. Both were needed.

It seems like a simple concept now, but it surely wasn't then. Now I can praise myself (when I remember). And who knows? Maybe someday I'll finally understand what the heck that math geek instructor was talking about with his 'polar coordinates', about which, the only thought I would consistently have was 'Isn't that the directions to Santa's house?'

I see that you've read this whole post. Good job!