What Would Martha Do?

Every year about this time I find myself wondering why we can't do Christmas cards better. I've given up on looking really good in a Christmas photo (my strategy is to edge toward the shadow and let the wife and offspring carry the image), but it'd be nice if we could get our act together and get the cards out more rapidly.

It isn't as if we have thousands of them, either. I am sure that people who literally do have hundreds and thousands of cards have a System for getting it done (perhaps, simply, turning to an assistant, waving languidly, and saying Take Care of That).

For us, it always comes down to four steps.

a) cut and paste the Access table that has miscellaneous address information into an Excel spreadsheet, sort by the YES in the Christmas card? column, and then print the selected rows.

b) hunt around for where the Christmas cards that we bought last year on sale went to. We don't always do that, but when we do, we put them into a Safe Place. A Very Safe Place. Divide them into The Pile You Sign and The Pile I Sign. Sign them. Try not to scrawl too badly.

c) Fight with the Lexmark printer to print the envelopes. This year, the small envelopes fell right down into it, necessitating use of two hemostats to put them out, then the next batch jammed, and the third batch shifted down five lines for no apparent reason. What is it with printers, anyway? Is the flow of envelopes so alien that like the dancing elephant they're doing well just to do it at all? Or is it that better printers are possible but are way out of the normal -- ie, me -- person's cost range?

d) Search for stamps, get gluetongue, and mail them.

I like doing it, I really do. It says 'Christmas!' to me. But sometimes I want to just wave my hand languidly.....