A few days before Christmas, while I was in my daughter's bedroom commiserating with her on her illness, she diffidently asked me if it was true that the rib case protected part of the body. I agreed that it was, talking a little about the structure of the chest and internal organs. Then why, she asked, do breasts grow out and not in? To an adult, this is a silly question, but she was serious, so I led her through a short chain of logic regarding the function of breasts, and how they need to be as they are in order to do what they do. She seemed satisfied with that.
She's still fairly young, and though there's been some obvious growth in that area, its nothing major. I don't know how big she will get. Her mother's measurements are actually pretty large -- which is fun for me when I go shopping for Christmas gifts, as the sales clerks don't know whether to be startled that I know the right numbers and letters, and am comfortable knowing, or to be bemused --'oh, sorry, we don't carry much in that size, here, sir'. Some of these stores seem to assume women are all straight up and down, or as close as makes no difference.
Her aunts have a range of sizes, so I imagine she'll likely have about the average amount of growth for them. (And no, I didn't ask.) She doesn't seem concerned about size yet, but I know that the chance is there. I therefore took the opportunity to toss in a little propaganda about how guys used to think it was important that a girl have large breasts, and how good it was that they didn't think so now -- at least, the smart ones didn't. We agreed that they weren't all smart, not yet, maybe not ever. I hid my knowledge of how I felt when I was growing up... or that, in some ways, I still am. I don't want her expectations to be polluted by society. I know they will be, to some extent.
I do what I can.
3 comments:
You sound like a really good dad. :)
My husband and I have decided that it all comes down to self-confidence. If we are able to instill enough self-confidence in our two daughters, they should be able to weather any storm as females in todays world. Be it boys teasing them about breast size (or lack thereof), or the media pressuring them to be skinny as toothpicks, or the peer pressure of drugs and alcohol. If they have a strong sense of self, they are more likely to simply be bemused by the silliness of society rather than polluted by it. That's what we're shooting for at any rate! *keeps fingers crossed*
(love the Santa picture by the way, adorable!)
I wish you (and us) luck in that. I've done a little reading, and am surprised to find that without extra encouragement, girls today tend to lose self confidence in themselves and their worth during their early teen years. She is headed toward the years when she's going to get bombarded with advertising about sexuality, brains (remember the Barbie that said 'Math is too hard'?), and being submissive, and I don't want her in any way -- any **reasonable** way --- doubting her own ability. I try to factor in things that I've learned which I wish I had known as an adolescent -- like, just because you're smart doesn't mean you don't have to work; you'd be amazed how old I was when I figured that one out -- but the bottom line is, she's worthwhile and capable, and no fluff-head teen bombshell has anything on her. I want her to know that the way that she knows her own name.
I like the picture, too. And did you notice the guy in the red suit? He’s pretty cool, as well......(g)
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