Werking

Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself that I'm not the only person who isn't particularly in love with his job -- whose view of how things ought to be is subtly askew, as in the spelling of the title of this piece. And sometimes not so subtly.

I work for an unusual organization, even by 'normal' matrixed management standards. Specifically, I'm part of a team that delivers a particular service to organizations who are overwhelmingly located in one area. The people in the team almost entirely only deliver that one service -- its their focus, their reason for existing as an organization. I, on the other hand, mostly deliver that service to an organization that's physically down here, where I work. And I don't deliver just that service -- I also work on another one, almost completely different. No one asked me to do it -- I agitated and grumped and moaned until they let me. The organization that is actually charged with delivering this other service is staffed by people who are also predominantly in one area, and who also deliver almost entirely just that one service. They're the ones who are regarded as the 'official' purveyors of the service. Me, I am viewed as just doing it on the side.

That irks me. For years, I've been trying to cut them out of the loop, to get myself regarded as the sole -- or at least primary -- purveyor of the service. And for years, they've kept saying well, sure, Bill, but you know we pay for those people's time, and so since your REAL job is to do this other thing, we'll just ask them when we need help. Which drives me right up a wall, and leads me to mutter that I'm just as qualified as they are. Which, actually, isn't true. I'm as qualified as they would be if they only saw one account's systems routinely, and only looked at the systems on occasion, when there are problems or curiosities. Okay, thats a hell of a modification to the original statement, I agree.

About a month ago, I learned that there was a pretty good chance that they'd let me move over to this other group (hurrah) and stop doing what is now my primary job (double hurrah). But about two weeks ago, I learned -- um, maybe not. Organizational shuffling, doncha know. Don't give up, could still happen, but -- umm..... maybe not. So I go back to grumping and moaning about how much I really want to move, really don't like doing this, want to do that... The thing is, this kind of grumping and moaning has never proven to work, at least for me. But its the only way I know to express dissatisfaction. Cogent, reasoned appeals don't seem to work, and don't make me 'feel better'; whereas grumbling at least does -- even though I wonder if it also has the effect of making people think ' well, hell, then, screw it -- let him stay where he is.' Dammed if I play the game, dammed if I don't.

The thing is, I would bet that the vast majority of people are in that kind of position. They're not particularly enchanted with where they are, or what they're doing. But they manage to suck it up, and to get their pleasures elsewhere. I persist in thinking it ought to be possible to be happy and satisfied from what I do at work. Despite the lack of real-world proof, I persist in believing those articles that say its possible.

Damn you, Fast Company! Damn you, Wired!