There is the possibility that, in six years, at right about this time, I will kill my daughter.
Okay, probably not. But I'll be thinking about it. Because this is when the Education issues come out for the New York Times, the Washington Post, and who knows how many other papers and magazines. Its when I leaf through them slowly, reading the articles, thinking Wow! You can take a course in that? And My Gosh, look at how terrific that campus looks! And gee, damn, I sure don't remember going to the local bar with any of my instructors for a lazy beer and long, rambling discussions! The sight of all that academic freedom -- hell, freedom, period -- awes me. Makes me damned envious, in fact. Where was this stuff when I went from high school into the military, the military into college, rushing through in two years, back into the military, then into a corporation? And these kids are just having this stuff handed to them?
That we have a secret fund that we call the First Year Fund, which is to fund, within reason, pretty much anything she wants to do for the first year after high school (it started as the First Year of College, but we expanded the idea), so that she could feel some freedom, not move in lockstep, see what some of the world is like -- well, all that's true. Its because of my experiences that I want to be sure she feels more freedom to choose than I did. But still, I want her to know that this is a Big Deal, having all this academic freedom, a smorgasboard of opportunity. I want her to savor it, wander through it, tasting the fruit, not limiting herself to one school or one discipline or one career path, not focusing too quickly. I want her to grow... and to know that she can do whatever she wants. This is where she can make it happen.
I will try very hard not to shove this down her throat, and if she demonstrates the normal teen-aged ennui about it all, not treating it as the really big opportunity that I'd kill for, I will try not to go ballistic. I will try not to kill her.
Making her wish she were dead, on the other hand.....
1 comment:
I recently remarked to my mother that I'd love to go through the college selection process again. I only entered college about nine years ago, but there are so many schools I never heard of and so many opportunities I never read about. She asked me if I remembered being a high school senior and reminded me of how scary that process was when I was going through it. I guess it is easy to look at those glossy pages now and know that it does work out in the end.
P.S. I think I'd still choose my alma mater.
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