I've decided that I don't like kids' talent shows.
They're a fine spectacle in many ways, and though none of the kids locally is particularly talented (well, perhaps one or two), its a chance for them to strut their stuff. They enjoy it, and, of course, the relatives do, too. Last night, when I was attending my daughter's talent show, I was astonished to hear a relatively sedate grandmother hooting and shouting when her child was on stage.
Last year, my daughter and two friends did a musical piece. They weren't very good. Okay, they were terrible. Possibly the worst of the show.
Still, they wanted to do something this year. What they chose was a low-key comedy routine based on the Who's On First classic. That was probably a mistake -- in retrospect, the acts that get applause have either a) a lot of people or b) a lot of hard-driving recorded music. Car-Wash Divas was a hit, as was a funny routine done to the thumping sounds of 'Funky Town'. There was one other act where two kids did a stand-up comedy routine, and they were pretty good -- they spoke clearly, slowly, and loud, and they had decent material - but mostly, People, and Sound, seemed to be the key. The audience liked either, and loved both.
They were doing okay -- not great, but occasional laughter -- when they came to a point where they were supposed to hold up a sign and then go on for about another minute. They stood to get the sign, and the audience applauded. The person announcing acts took the applause to mean that their act was over, and he started announcing the next one. Still holding the sign, they looked up in surprise as they and their props got hustled off the stage by the assistants.
I spoke to one of the stage managers later, but of course, that was way too late. And truth to tell, I was more irritated than she was. The performers all got big helium filled balloons, and she liked that a lot. Played with it all the way home, singing a tune about it to the rhythm of 'Funky Town'.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see why I feel as I do. Or that I'd feel differently if the audience had cheered and stomped their feet for my child. And I know that, all things considered, its not that big of a deal.
Still....
I don't like kids' talent shows.
