Sunday, November 20, 2011


We had the kid over. It went pretty well.

I think that she thinks we're wealthy because we went to France, because we have a large kitchen, and because we have a Kitchen Aid mixer. After we spoke a little about having studied French for the trip, she asked us to say something in French. Like what, I asked, and she said I want to buy purple glasses. Um...Je voudrais acheter des....what's glasses? I looked at my daughter, who said well, sunglasses are lunettes de soleil, so... yeah, I said, Je voudrais acheter des lunettes violettes. I wondered afterward if she was testing us.

She seemed impressed by dinner, and asked Do you always have dinner like this? Dinner was spaghetti and meatballs, with garlic bread, salad, and apple cider. Nothing outrageous. We had put a tablecloth out, but that was pretty much the extent of the gloss. My wife said no, we try to eat together but usually our daughter eats and leaves for color guard before I get home. My daughter added My dad usually does the cooking, since my mom's at work. My wife told me later that the girl had said that when she was younger, dinner was frequently take-out from McDonalds.

She took a while to get used to the idea that we teased a lot at dinner, but she eventually got into it. My daughter mentioned that frequently the dinner table is silent because we're all reading, unless we're telling quotes from whatever we've got. I told her my mother used to ask my father not to read at the table, because I was doing it, but that didn't take. My wife said she does try to have conversations; my daughter and I both said really? here?

And I learned that the guy she had the child with, when she was 20, was 41 years old at the time. Oh, my. Her father is urging her to sue the guy for child support, which would make sense if he was working. Or even if she just knew where he was.

We never did have The Conversation, as she was texted three times by her mother, the last time saying that the child was screaming for her, so she abruptly wanted to return home. If and when we see her again -- we said we'd invite her over again, which seemed to please her - perhaps we'll have it then. I still have my notes for that conversation:

We will not -

- let you move in with us, even temporarily.

- tell you what you should do with your life.

- take sides.

- judge.

We will listen, and discuss, and offer moral support.

So that was the evening.


genderist said...

Sounds like it was a success! If nothing else she has an adult she can trust who isn't family. Fingers crossed that you don't have to refer to your list.

Cerulean Bill said...

I agree. We're taking it slowly.

STAG said...

Good choices.

Cerulean Bill said...