You know how sometimes you wonder if something might be true, and you hope it isn't, to the point where you've about convinced yourself that it isn't, and then you find out that, in fact, it is? Got some of that type of news today. It's nothing bad....but it's unsettling. And it's going to take me a little while to get used to it.
For one thing, people who know me pretty well weren't sure how I'd react to it. And that's almost as unsettling as the news itself. In fact, as I think about ...more so. I thought that they knew me better than that. It almost feels as if they didn't trust me. I know that's not true, but it's how it feels.
I want to believe that its unsettling because someone I care for could get hurt. That's true, but it isn't all of it. The rest is that it changes my life, even though I'm just an observer to the main event. I don't like that change. There's an old joke about babies being the only ones who like change. The older I get, the more I think that's true. Good changes, happy changes do occur....but not very often.
This one isn't bad, but change is scary. I wish it wasn't happening.
I'm about 60% over it.