Well, it's over.
It wasn't too bad, especially if you like being half blind and unable to easily walk down a step or over a bump. The kids were mostly excited. One room just stood and watched me, warily; one pretty much entirely burst into tears. One little girl was spazzing out; she'd get some eggs, then swing her basket wildly, flinging them everywhere. Where'd my eggs go? My wife was there at one point; a little boy ran up to her and said The Easter Bunny!! Yes, she said, would you like to go over and say hello to him? NO!!!!
Would I do it again? Well....maybe.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Rabbit, Feh
Okay, here's two pictures. Guess who ought to be wearing the damn suit tomorrow. Me, or my daughter?
This thing is impossible. It's built for a thin, limber person. It zips up the back, and the flaps for the head go inside the jumpsuit. So you're trying to zip the damn thing up while wearing a papier-mache head that severely limits your vision and mobility. And then just try to get that damn vest on -- it doesn't slide over the fur, and this one, at least, is snug across my shoulders. I swear I heard a seam rip.
Never again. At least, not after tomorrow. Feh. If I ever do it again, I'm wearing this one.
This thing is impossible. It's built for a thin, limber person. It zips up the back, and the flaps for the head go inside the jumpsuit. So you're trying to zip the damn thing up while wearing a papier-mache head that severely limits your vision and mobility. And then just try to get that damn vest on -- it doesn't slide over the fur, and this one, at least, is snug across my shoulders. I swear I heard a seam rip.
Never again. At least, not after tomorrow. Feh. If I ever do it again, I'm wearing this one.
Not Much
Thinking about the front lawn, which could stand to be mown. But, you know, it's going to rain soon. And it's way windy.
Thinking about the bread in the oven, which has about 20 minutes to go. Then it cools for two hours.
Thinking about my mento, who failed sixth grade and may be on his way to failing eighth. Boy, am I helping him.
Thinking about the incoherent fury of Tea Party people.
Thinking.
Thinking about the bread in the oven, which has about 20 minutes to go. Then it cools for two hours.
Thinking about my mento, who failed sixth grade and may be on his way to failing eighth. Boy, am I helping him.
Thinking about the incoherent fury of Tea Party people.
Thinking.
Monday, March 29, 2010
MoanDay
That would be my daughter, who's moving quite slowly. She woke up with difficulty, saying that she'd woken up multiple times during the night, and at breakfast she was sneezing and coughing. We agreed that this would be a good day to stay home, especially when she didn't flinch when I said this would mean not going to Karate tonight. She likes going, even though she's now starting to get kicked (lightly) in the stomach. I honestly don't think she's ever conned us into letting her stay at home. Stretched the truth a bit about how she's felt, yes -- the classic I don't feel well enough to go to school; I want to stay home; I'll be downstairs watching television . But far away from a classic Ferris Bueller moment. I hope they never remake that film; the original is pure gold.
I'm thinking I might make bread today. It'll be one of the 'no-knead' ones; as the book I'm reading notes, kneading builds gluten, which forms the structure of the bread, but so does a long - loooooong - autolyse, when you let the bread go sit in a corner for eight to twelve hours, if not more. That's what I'm going to do -- form the dough this afternoon, let it rise for about 18 hours, bake it tomorrow. As it's a glum, overcast day, I imagine it's going to take a lot of time to get a rise out of the dough.
No insights today. Trying not to think that the twinge I feel in my left arm is connected to the implant there or the weather. That's a old guy thing. Even if I do feel older at finding out, last night, that a friend who stopped by on her way back to college is actually in her senior year. But she's just a kid!!! Um, no.
I'm thinking I might make bread today. It'll be one of the 'no-knead' ones; as the book I'm reading notes, kneading builds gluten, which forms the structure of the bread, but so does a long - loooooong - autolyse, when you let the bread go sit in a corner for eight to twelve hours, if not more. That's what I'm going to do -- form the dough this afternoon, let it rise for about 18 hours, bake it tomorrow. As it's a glum, overcast day, I imagine it's going to take a lot of time to get a rise out of the dough.
No insights today. Trying not to think that the twinge I feel in my left arm is connected to the implant there or the weather. That's a old guy thing. Even if I do feel older at finding out, last night, that a friend who stopped by on her way back to college is actually in her senior year. But she's just a kid!!! Um, no.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Miscellanea
I don't have much truck with Valentine or his day -- but this, I like.
We went to church this morning. It was one of the long Masses, for the start of Holy Week. I recall as a kid asking my mother if Friday was Good Friday, was Thursday Pretty-Good Thursday, Wednesday Fairly-Bland Wednesday, and so forth. She didn't think so. Today, the church was so full -- not normally a problem in our church -- they started to run out of hosts. I got half of one. I told my wife that this meant I got to leave when half the mass was done, and she said No, it's still considered the Body of Christ. I told her Maybe, but it looks like he's gotten shorter. She lost it for a couple of minutes.
I suppose the Catholic Church has been losing it for a while. Its sort of like Bill Clinton having to admit that yes, once again, he couldn't keep it zipped. Yet another major part of the church has disclosed that it's had -- and still has -- a serious problem with priests who are child molesters. And once again, the Pope doesn't feel the need to get out in front of it, make major changes, fire and jail these pedophiles. He likes things just as they are. After all, look where it got him!
Keeping with the status quo is working for other people, too. I see where we're now reporting that Iran probably is working on creating nuclear weapons. They just keep cruising along, doing as they damned well please. It's worked so far, though I imagine that at some point Israel will attack Iran, and we'll keep diplomatically silent about it. And send them more aid.
I was looking casually for a blog that's both conservative and intelligent. Then I realized that such a blog won't tell me why people like Sarah Palin and Glen Beck, which is what I really want to know. Of course, I know I'm expecting too much, looking for that, especially when my view of political strategy is kind of at this level. So I read this, instead. Some of it clearly is 'drinking the Kool-Aid' (this is, after all, a consultant's blog), but some is kind of interesting.
And now it's time for a nap.
We went to church this morning. It was one of the long Masses, for the start of Holy Week. I recall as a kid asking my mother if Friday was Good Friday, was Thursday Pretty-Good Thursday, Wednesday Fairly-Bland Wednesday, and so forth. She didn't think so. Today, the church was so full -- not normally a problem in our church -- they started to run out of hosts. I got half of one. I told my wife that this meant I got to leave when half the mass was done, and she said No, it's still considered the Body of Christ. I told her Maybe, but it looks like he's gotten shorter. She lost it for a couple of minutes.
I suppose the Catholic Church has been losing it for a while. Its sort of like Bill Clinton having to admit that yes, once again, he couldn't keep it zipped. Yet another major part of the church has disclosed that it's had -- and still has -- a serious problem with priests who are child molesters. And once again, the Pope doesn't feel the need to get out in front of it, make major changes, fire and jail these pedophiles. He likes things just as they are. After all, look where it got him!
Keeping with the status quo is working for other people, too. I see where we're now reporting that Iran probably is working on creating nuclear weapons. They just keep cruising along, doing as they damned well please. It's worked so far, though I imagine that at some point Israel will attack Iran, and we'll keep diplomatically silent about it. And send them more aid.
I was looking casually for a blog that's both conservative and intelligent. Then I realized that such a blog won't tell me why people like Sarah Palin and Glen Beck, which is what I really want to know. Of course, I know I'm expecting too much, looking for that, especially when my view of political strategy is kind of at this level. So I read this, instead. Some of it clearly is 'drinking the Kool-Aid' (this is, after all, a consultant's blog), but some is kind of interesting.
And now it's time for a nap.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Waiting With TiVo and the Cat
This is the part that I hate.
It's about 9:30, and I'm starting to think that sleep would be a good idea. Meanwhile, my wife and daughter are at the color guard competition. My wife is coming home around midnight; my daughter will be on the bus, arrived some time between eleven and eleven thirty. She'll call me when the bus is near the school, and I'll go get her. Which means I can't go to sleep unless I'm dressed and ready to go as soon as she calls. Sooner, I think would be her preference.
So I've been downstairs killing time with the cat and TiVo. Cat curled up and went to sleep next to me. I don't know what it is about sitting there, scratching a cats belly, that's so relaxing, but I liked it. She did, too, based on the idea that she didn't react when I started, but opened her eyes when I stopped. Then she stretched, and casually laid her self down right next to me. I know, it's a shared bodily warmth thing.
And I've been watching TV, occasionally recording some for later watching. Sometimes, I think TiVo isn't as smart as they say. Why didn't it know that I would be fascinated with the CSPAN America And The Courts program that had Breyer and Scalia casually tossing barbs at each other about how much you can and should read into the law (I'm surprised that Steven couldn't see that, to me, it's perfectly clear.... Well, Antonin, if I've used a new argument today, perhaps you ought to consider it). I mean, fascinating. Here are these two guys with diametrically opposed views -- doesn't hurt that one looks like an English Lit professor and the other a professional bouncer -- laying out what they think, and why it's so obvious to them. Why didn't TiVo know I'd like that, or at least tell me it was coming? And then about ten minutes of a program about Marines at Parris Island -- I always wonder how much the DIs tone things down for when they're being filmed; certainly, that woman teaching unarmed combat looked lethally competent; even when she was smiling, she was scary. I stopped after 10 minutes. I could never have handled that, I think. And then about an hour of Alaska State Troopers, who are seriously tough of a different nature -- they do surprise drills of their people on back roads in freezing temperatures? Using live ammunition? And then about an hour of a SyFy series called Sanctuary, about which I'd heard but never seen; man, that's good. Why didn't TiVo know I'd like this stuff?
But now I have to go get dressed, and then get some sleep.
It's about 9:30, and I'm starting to think that sleep would be a good idea. Meanwhile, my wife and daughter are at the color guard competition. My wife is coming home around midnight; my daughter will be on the bus, arrived some time between eleven and eleven thirty. She'll call me when the bus is near the school, and I'll go get her. Which means I can't go to sleep unless I'm dressed and ready to go as soon as she calls. Sooner, I think would be her preference.
So I've been downstairs killing time with the cat and TiVo. Cat curled up and went to sleep next to me. I don't know what it is about sitting there, scratching a cats belly, that's so relaxing, but I liked it. She did, too, based on the idea that she didn't react when I started, but opened her eyes when I stopped. Then she stretched, and casually laid her self down right next to me. I know, it's a shared bodily warmth thing.
And I've been watching TV, occasionally recording some for later watching. Sometimes, I think TiVo isn't as smart as they say. Why didn't it know that I would be fascinated with the CSPAN America And The Courts program that had Breyer and Scalia casually tossing barbs at each other about how much you can and should read into the law (I'm surprised that Steven couldn't see that, to me, it's perfectly clear.... Well, Antonin, if I've used a new argument today, perhaps you ought to consider it). I mean, fascinating. Here are these two guys with diametrically opposed views -- doesn't hurt that one looks like an English Lit professor and the other a professional bouncer -- laying out what they think, and why it's so obvious to them. Why didn't TiVo know I'd like that, or at least tell me it was coming? And then about ten minutes of a program about Marines at Parris Island -- I always wonder how much the DIs tone things down for when they're being filmed; certainly, that woman teaching unarmed combat looked lethally competent; even when she was smiling, she was scary. I stopped after 10 minutes. I could never have handled that, I think. And then about an hour of Alaska State Troopers, who are seriously tough of a different nature -- they do surprise drills of their people on back roads in freezing temperatures? Using live ammunition? And then about an hour of a SyFy series called Sanctuary, about which I'd heard but never seen; man, that's good. Why didn't TiVo know I'd like this stuff?
But now I have to go get dressed, and then get some sleep.
PreQuels
I'm not a big fan of prequels. But this fellow has some interesting ideas for them. Xena, huh? Doctor Who, back when? I like the idea.
Observation
Nothing quite so diminishes my desire to be helpful in the morning as being told, after saying 'sure, I'll try making you scrambled eggs, but realize that I don't really know how to do that', as having the daughter peer at the pan and say "That's not how I do it."
Apparently, you're supposed to constantly stir them. Otherwise, it's an omelet. Or something.
Her obvious surprise at my irritation doesn't help the matter. Does make it flamingly less likely that I'll offer to do it again. Though the sheepish um, the eggs tasted really good afterwards was funny. Nice try on manipulating the old man, kiddo.
Apparently, you're supposed to constantly stir them. Otherwise, it's an omelet. Or something.
Her obvious surprise at my irritation doesn't help the matter. Does make it flamingly less likely that I'll offer to do it again. Though the sheepish um, the eggs tasted really good afterwards was funny. Nice try on manipulating the old man, kiddo.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Purchases, Almost
Three times I've gone to Amazon and looked at a $12.00 baking book, which I've checked out of the local library, and which I like.
Three times I've said No, I'm not ready to spend twelve dollars on myself for a book that, having read through, I'll put on the shelf and likely not look at for several weeks.
I need to convince someone to buy it for me.
Three times I've said No, I'm not ready to spend twelve dollars on myself for a book that, having read through, I'll put on the shelf and likely not look at for several weeks.
I need to convince someone to buy it for me.
Everyone Knows Its...
Windy. And, how. I'm sitting in the kitchen, looking at the grill cover billowing furiously. We have a large rock sitting atop the cover, but even thought it masses several times the weight of the cover, I'm not entirely sure that the thing's not going to just get shrugged right off, crashing down to the slab below. Our brief pre-Spring clearly isn't here now.
This is going to be be another chaotic weekend, though likely the last for a while. My wife is getting up at 5:30 tomorrow to gather up two other women and drive down to a town near Gettysburg, where the color guard championships are being held. It's going to be an all day event, and she doesn't expect to be home before midnight. My daughter goes to practice tomorrow morning around 10, and she expects to be home around the same time. Neither one will be coherent on Sunday morning!
In a little bit, some remodelors will be here to create an estimate for redoing our hall bath. It's not as major a deal as downstairs - mostly repainting - but it does have the potential for significant financial impact, as we expect to need repairs to the plumbing -- we think the existing john is slowly leaking, and has been for a while -- and we want to get an estimate for completely replacing the thirty-year-old tub with something a lot nicer, similar to what they did downstairs. We'd really like to make it a bigger tub, but unless we a) gut, in whole or part, the master bath (which is the smallest one in the house), or b) remove our sole closet in the master bedroom, I don't think that's going to happen. We also want to look into having the insulation in our attic reinforced, which is a major hassle because the only way into the attic is through my daughter's bedroom closet, with all of the heaving and hauling that implies. And the 'attic' is more a crawlspace than anything.
Last night, my daughter and I reviewed biology. What do you do when the teacher says something that sort-of but not-exactly contradicts the text?
This is going to be be another chaotic weekend, though likely the last for a while. My wife is getting up at 5:30 tomorrow to gather up two other women and drive down to a town near Gettysburg, where the color guard championships are being held. It's going to be an all day event, and she doesn't expect to be home before midnight. My daughter goes to practice tomorrow morning around 10, and she expects to be home around the same time. Neither one will be coherent on Sunday morning!
In a little bit, some remodelors will be here to create an estimate for redoing our hall bath. It's not as major a deal as downstairs - mostly repainting - but it does have the potential for significant financial impact, as we expect to need repairs to the plumbing -- we think the existing john is slowly leaking, and has been for a while -- and we want to get an estimate for completely replacing the thirty-year-old tub with something a lot nicer, similar to what they did downstairs. We'd really like to make it a bigger tub, but unless we a) gut, in whole or part, the master bath (which is the smallest one in the house), or b) remove our sole closet in the master bedroom, I don't think that's going to happen. We also want to look into having the insulation in our attic reinforced, which is a major hassle because the only way into the attic is through my daughter's bedroom closet, with all of the heaving and hauling that implies. And the 'attic' is more a crawlspace than anything.
Last night, my daughter and I reviewed biology. What do you do when the teacher says something that sort-of but not-exactly contradicts the text?
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Rollin'
We went for a driving lesson tonight.
On the one hand, she did much of it well, including driving on a relatively busy road.
On the other, she scared me three times. And, she's getting just a little cocky.
On the one hand, she did much of it well, including driving on a relatively busy road.
On the other, she scared me three times. And, she's getting just a little cocky.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tooling Around
From a coworker of my wife:
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, "Ouch..."
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age. Also useful for spinning drill bits in reverse until the tip glows red.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija Board Principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.
WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16" or 1/2" socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering an automobile upward off a hydraulic jack handle.
TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood and metal splinters. It is made from a magical material that turns invisible when you need it, and re-appears when you don't.
PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbors to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack. Also useful for calling the parts store and complaining that the moron at the counter gave you what you asked for, and it's not the right one.
SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog poop off your boot.
E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps off in bolt holes you absolutely have to have.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the tensile strength on everything you forgot to disconnect.
CRAFTSMAN 1/2" x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large pry bar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.
AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.
TROUBLE LIGHT: The home mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the Sunshine Vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, it's main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.
PHIL LIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last over tightened 58 years ago by someone at Chevrolet, and neatly rounds off their heads.
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the expensive metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a .50 cent part. Also used to bend or break expensive, irreplaceable, collector car parts.
HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses too short.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive e parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts.
DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "DAMMIT" at the top of your lungs. It is also the next tool that you will need.
TOOLS AND THEIR ACTUAL USE
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the knuckles and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part that was set aside to dryWIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, "Ouch..."
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age. Also useful for spinning drill bits in reverse until the tip glows red.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija Board Principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.
WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16" or 1/2" socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering an automobile upward off a hydraulic jack handle.
TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood and metal splinters. It is made from a magical material that turns invisible when you need it, and re-appears when you don't.
PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbors to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack. Also useful for calling the parts store and complaining that the moron at the counter gave you what you asked for, and it's not the right one.
SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog poop off your boot.
E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps off in bolt holes you absolutely have to have.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the tensile strength on everything you forgot to disconnect.
CRAFTSMAN 1/2" x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large pry bar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.
AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.
TROUBLE LIGHT: The home mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the Sunshine Vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, it's main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.
PHIL LIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last over tightened 58 years ago by someone at Chevrolet, and neatly rounds off their heads.
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the expensive metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a .50 cent part. Also used to bend or break expensive, irreplaceable, collector car parts.
HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses too short.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive e parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts.
DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "DAMMIT" at the top of your lungs. It is also the next tool that you will need.
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