My daughter will occasionally ask why we didn't have another child, or adopt one. It's not an easy question to answer.
We usually point out that it took a long time to have her, and as for adoption, that happens as a rule much earlier in life than we got married, let alone, had a child. That's the truth, but it's not particularly satisfactory to her. Certainly, we would have liked to have another child. Even now, I'm not really sure why we didn't pursue it. I know we thought about it. I think we just figured this was better than some people get -- we had a healthy child, after all -- and that it wouldn't be fair to someone else. It might also have been that I wasn't sure that we could adequately provide for two children. I suppose that seems like an odd statement now; I know we were not living on the edge, or anything like it, but I have always, always been worried about security, and I wouldn't have wanted to take extra steps to have a child -- getting one in the normal way, that would have been okay, but going through the steps of an adoption, when I wasn't totally sure we could provide for two -- that might have seemed like pushing my luck.
I'm not sorry we didn't, but a little? Yeah. A little. It would have been nice. And, you know? I almost wish we could do it now.
3 comments:
I think there are pros and cons to every situation .. and I'd never ever regret my decision to have a second child .. but when I'm blessed with time with just one of my girls .. I realize how much easier it could have been. No fighting, the peaceful quietness, the one on one time, etc. But then I come from a big family and could not have imagined not growing up with a close sister or brother to play with, etc.
Either way .. I think whatever you choose or even if the choice is made for you .. no matter how many children you bring into the world .. they are so worth it. And you love them and cherish every single moment with them.
So...you're not willing to take her off my hands?
Seriously, I agree. I know where she's coming from, and I know that she doesn't see the downsides of having a sib or two. I would have liked to oblige her. I didn't have any, growing up, though, and I turned out all right. Right? I said, right?
BTW, Rach, my access to your blog seems to have gone away, a couple of weeks ago....
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