Sometimes the engineer in me -- he's very small, and spends most of his time looking for a lost pocket protector -- thinks that I should chart out the times when I feel like French is a waste of time, just so I can see if it comes in cycles. And then I think I could know that a the-hell-with-this is arriving on the 4:03 from Tulsa tomorrow, and I wouldn't be able to do a thing to change it. I know that the optimists would say oh but then you could PREPARE yourself, surround yourself with GOOD things, build up an emotional barricade to sustain yourself until you start seeing some positive stuff again.
To which I say Get back in your rabbit hole and let me be.
I know that the only way to improve is to try, continually. I do know that.