The other night, my daughter was complaining because her mother had mixed butter in with her rice; she said, scowling, that she didn't want it. Seeking to defuse the situation, I asked her what she would have put in had we asked in advance, and she replied "NOTHING!" Well, then, I asked, what sort of Nothing would you have put in? The fine, powdered Nothing, or the chunky style? Or perhaps the liquid Nothing, always a pleasure? By now she was just looking at me with an expression of bemusement as I went on. And where would you get it? Personally, I like going to the better food stores for that sort of thing. I look for an aisle where the shelves appear empty, but just to be sure, I ask a clerk what's there, and when they say "Why, nothing!" (for some reason, they stare at me strangely as they say this), I smile and nod, because Nothing is exactly what I want. And I scoop up as much as I can. Of course, I pointed out to my daughter, you can go to the cheaper stores, and they have Nothing, too, but it isn't quite the same. She asked why, and I told her that if, for example, you went to a bulk foods store and asked 'What's on the loading dock?', and they said "Nothing's on the loading dock", you could go out and look, and certainly it looks as if Nothing is there, but if you get down on your hands and knees, you can see that in fact there is dirt and gravel and what-not -- so it isn't truly Nothing -- certainly not the fine Nothing you'd want. And then there's the question of storage. When you bring it home, the dirt and gravel get everywhere, whereas if you got Nothing from a better quality store, you can easily put it away, no problem with mess at all. Though you have to be careful when you do put it away, I warned her; if someone opens the cupboard quickly, then it might fall out. And if you ask "What fell out?", and they reply "Nothing fell out", then, of course, you have to go put it all away again.

By which time, she was smiling. And she'd finished the rice, without noticing.