Wednesday, June 01, 2016


Learned tonight that a friend has a kind-of new boyfriend.  Kind-of because he feels it more strongly than her, and because she'll be leaving the area in two months, which would make it hard for him to keep in touch.

I was glad for her, and sorry about the keeping-in-touch part, until she mentioned that he's a Muslim.

And now I'm a little scared for her. Glad about the idea of a relationship -- she's had a tough time -- but -- scared.


Tabor said...

YOu only need to be scared if she is vulnerable and needy and not an independent woman. His being Muslim may have little to do with it.

Cerulean Bill said...

She IS somewhat vulnerable, but thats not the reason. The very first thing I thought was Oh no, my friend is going to get co-opted.

Surprised me, and not in a good way.

RozWarren said...

Co-opted? Not sure what you mean by this. He's going to turn her Muslim? Actually, I don't know many Muslims but the ones I know are pretty cool. I'd be more worried if this new guy was a jerk.

Cerulean Bill said...

Yes, thats what I mean by coopted. And yes, I do believe that there's nothing to worry about simply because the guy is a Muslim. But in my hindbrain is an image of my friend getting brainwashed, becoming one of these people who protests that Of course she wants to wear a burka, she thinks it makes perfect sense, can't understand why all women don't do it, no, she doesn't feel isolated or marginalized, removes distractions, all of that. Does that happen? Probably not often, but the image is there. As for knowing Muslims, I know one - yeah, I know, big sample size -- who lives in Iran, and she tells me occasionally what its like for a woman there. Not an environment I'd want for my daughter.

Intellectually, I think I'm wrong. Emotionally....hey, this is my FRIEND, and I care about her.