Hookee

That's what you call someone who hires a hooker, right?  A hookee?

Not that I know.  I've never done that.  In fact, I've only met one prostitute in my life.  Well, I think she was a prostitute - girl came up to me as I was crossing the street to get to the Port Authority bus terminal in New York and asked me if I wanted to go to a party. Sorry, I replied, suavely, I'm heading to South Dakota.  She said Oh, too bad, and that was it.  So I don't know.... but I think so.

For some reason, I was thinking about that last night, while I was in the hotel (another I gotta come home right away call from the offspring).  I don't know how you go about finding and hiring a hooker, let alone, one of her higher-paid sisters-in-the-trade.  No idea. Um, go to Times Square and ask for referrals?   And I have no idea about the ettiquette involved in such a transaction, either.  Is there a list of services?  Is tipping involved?   I could easily see myself paying a large amount of money for, essentially, conversation. Which I don't think is the point.

My wife, I'm guessing, would be delighted that I don't know this stuff.  Probably not too thrilled that I think about it, though. Even though she knows that I'm married enough and wimpish enough (either reason will do; in combination, they're impenetrable) to act on it.